中國“小三勸退師”登上《紐約時報》“丈夫有外遇

一條花邊新聞，說中國出現了一個特殊的新興職業：小三勸退師。顧名思義，這是一支以策略手段幫助妻子打敗入侵者的“仁義之師”。

不過，這則消息太過簡略，看過之後，既不知道小三勸退師如何工作，也不知道市場情況如何。直到近日，《紐約時報》忽然推出題為“丈夫有外遇 你可以找小三勸退師”的詳細報道，才對這一新興行業有了比較清晰的瞭解。

BEIJING ― When Ms. Wang, a 39-year-old from Shanghai, discovered texts on her husband’s phone that suggested he was having an affair with one of his employees, she wasdistraught

. “I couldn’t sleep at night and couldn’t stop crying,” she said. “I was very hurt.”

北京。39歲的王女士來自上海，從丈夫的手機短信上發現他和他的一名僱員有染，她心煩意亂。“我晚上睡不著覺，忍不住哭，我很受傷。”

She decided to take action, though perhaps not in the expected way. Rather than confronting her husband, she searched online for a “mistress dispeller.’’

她決定採取行動，儘管可能和你想的不同――她沒有找丈夫對質，而是在網上找了個“小三勸退師”。

Mistress-dispelling services, increasingly common in China’s larger cities, specialize in ending affairs between married men and their extramarital lovers.

小三勸退服務，專業從事終結已婚男人和婚外情人的關係，這在中國大城市越來越普遍。

Typically hired by a scorned wife, they coach women on how to save their marriages, while inducing the mistress to disappear. For a fee that can start in the tens of thousands of dollars, they will subtly infiltrate the mistress’s life, winning her friendship and trust in an attempt to break up the affair.

他們通常受傭一個被耍的妻子，教女人如何拯救婚姻，並誘導小三消失。最低收費是幾萬美元，之後悄悄潛入小三的生活，獲取她的友誼和信任，搞砸這段婚外情。

The services have emerged as China’s economy has opened up in recent decades, and as extramarital affairs grew more common.

隨著中國經濟最近幾十年的對外開放，婚外情變得越來越普遍，這種服務應運而生。

With greater opportunities andincentivesto be unfaithful ― not a few businessmen and officials signal status by maintaining fetching young women ― new businesses to combat thecheatinghave apparently flourished.

不少商人和官員有更多的機會和誘惑對妻子不忠，他們把獵取年輕女性作為地位的象徵，於是對付出軌的新生意火爆起來。

The personal accounts from people who say they have used them are difficult to independently confirm, and there are no exact figures for the number of mistress dispellers in China. But a search on Baidu, a Chinese search engine, yields pages of ads and blogs that link back to mistress-dispelling companies based in cities like Shanghai and Guangzhou.

求助這種服務的人，她們的個人故事很難獨立加以確證，也沒有小三勸退師在中國的準確數量。但百度搜索顯示的頁面和博客可以鏈接到上海、廣州等城市的小三勸退公司。

After her own search, Ms. Wangdecided to hire Weiqing International Marriage Hospital Emotion Clinic Group, a mistress-dispelling service in Shanghai. “I looked at some cases on their websites and didn’t know if I should trust them,’’ she said. “But I felt I had no other options, so I thought, why not try it?”

王女士自己搜索後，決定僱傭“維情國際婚姻醫院情感診所”，這是一家位於上海的小三勸退公司。“我看了網站上的一些案例，也不知道該不該相信他們，可我覺著也沒別的辦法了，所以就想要不試試？”

Weiqing eventually ended the affair, she said, by persuading the other woman to take a higher-paying job in another city. “I don’t care how that woman is living now,’’ Ms. Wang said. “I just feel relieved that my husband is back.’’

她說，維情通過勸說那個女人在另外一個城市找一份收入更高的工作，最終了斷了婚外情。王女士說：“我不關心那個女人活得怎麼樣，丈夫回來了，我就放心了。”

Ms. Wang, who was recommended by Weiqing to be interviewed for this article, declined to give her full name, saying she wanted to protect her family’s privacy. She would not say how much she paid, except that it was enough that she asked her parents for help.

維情推薦本文作者採訪王女士，她拒絕透露全名，表示想保護家庭隱私。她不願說付了多少錢，只說讓父母資助一下就夠了。

Weiqing said it started helping clients like Ms. Wang in 2001 in Shanghai, and has since expanded to 59 cities.

維情表示從2001年開始在上海幫助像王女士這樣的客戶，現在業務拓展到59個城市。

Mistress dispelling typically begins with research on the targeted woman, said Shu Xin, Weiqing’s director. An investigation team ― often including a psychotherapist and, to keep on the safe side, a lawyer ― analyzes her family, friends, education and job before sending in an employee whom Weiqing calls a counselor.

維情的主管舒心（音）說，小三勸退服務一般首先對目標婦女開展調查。一個調查團隊――通常包括心理治療師，以及為安全起見，加上一名律師――分析她的家庭、朋友、教育背景和工作，之後派出一名被維情稱為諮詢師的僱員。

“Once we figure out what type of mistress she is ― in it for money, love or sex ― we draw up a plan,” Mr. Shu said.

舒說：“一旦我們知道小三是什麼類型的，為錢？為愛？為性？我們就會制定計劃。”

The counselor might move into the mistress’s apartment building or start working out at her gym, getting to know her, becoming her confidante and eventually turning her feelings against her partner.

諮詢師會搬進小三居住的小區或在她所在的健身房下手，結識她併成為她的密友，最後讓她反感自己的搭檔。

Sometimes, the counselor finds her a new lover, a job opening in another city or otherwise persuades her to leave the married man. Weiqing and other agencies said their counselors were prohibited from becoming intimately involved with the mistresses or from using or threatening violence.

有時，諮詢師給她找個新情人，或在另一個城市找到工作，或者直接勸她離開已婚男人。維情和其他一些機構表示禁止諮詢師和小三關係親密，禁止使用或威脅使用暴力。

Kang Na, who runs a mistress-dispelling service called the Reunion Company in the southern city of Shenzhen, said he recruited male counselors from his own social circle. They are chosen for their attractive looks and personality, he said. He then trains them to avoid detection and to navigate complex emotional situations.

康納（音）在中國南方城市深圳運營一家被稱為重圓公司的小三勸退公司，他說他從自己的社交圈中招募男諮詢師，他們要長得帥，人品好，然後會訓練他們反偵察，並處理複雜的感情問題。

While the counselor goes to work, the mistress-dispelling service advises the wife on how to make herself more attractive to her husband.

諮詢師開始工作的同時，小三勸退公司給妻子做指導，教她如何吸引丈夫的注意。

“We want to disrupt conventional ways of thinking,” Mr. Kang said. “Chinese women think that if you treat men well, they’ll love you more. But often, we men love the people who hurt us the most.”

康說：“我們要打破傳統的思維，中國女人認為我們對男人好，他們就會多愛我一點。可我們男人常常就愛上傷我們最深的女人。”

One response to marital infidelity is divorce. But divorce can be costly, especially for women. Aside from the social stigma that falls more heavily on women, family property and finances in China tend to be registered in the husband’s name. A divorced woman can find herself homeless, adding to the pressure of taking measures to save the marriage.

婚姻不忠的一種結果就是離婚，可離婚代價高昂，尤其對女人而言。除了對她們而言沉重的社會恥辱，在中國，家庭財產和錢財一般在丈夫名下。離婚女人會無家可歸，這增加她們的壓力，採取措施來拯救婚姻。

But many Chinese men resist discussing marital problems with marriage counselors or other outside professionals, said Tang Yinghong, apsychologist and columnist based in Leshan, Sichuan Province. “Husbands in China still hold the traditional view that a family’s dirty laundry should not be aired publicly,’’ he said.

四川樂山的心理學家和專欄作家唐尹紅（因）說，許多中國男人抵制和婚姻顧問或其他專業人士討論婚姻問題。“中國的丈夫仍抱有傳統觀念，認為家醜不可外揚。”

And the wives, unwilling to undergo a difficult divorce, he said, “would rather turn to a mistress dispeller behind their husbands’ back.’’ Ideally, the husband never finds out why his mistress left him.

他說，這些妻子們不願意經歷痛苦的離婚，“寧願揹著丈夫尋找小三勸退師”。理想的狀態是，丈夫永遠也不知道為什麼小三離他而去。

The services are not cheap. Mr. Kang charges a base fee of 300,000 renminbi, about $45,000, but he said that costs can mount if counselors need to rent expensive apartments or cars to endear themselves to the mistresses.

這種服務價格不菲，康的起步價是30萬元，相當於45000美元，可他說要是諮詢師租昂貴的公寓或汽車來親近小三，價格是難以估量的。

Clients usually pay half the fee in advance and the balance once the case is successfully concluded. Mr. Kang said the balance is waived if the mistress is not dispelled, but he put his success rate at 90 percent, in part because he only takes on cases he thinks can be solved.

客戶一般會先付一半費用，成功了結後支付剩下費用。康表示如果小三沒被勸退，那麼尾款就不要了，可他的成功率達到90%，部分原因是他只接他認為能成功的案子。

The companies say it typically takes about three months to dispel a mistress. Yu Feng, director of the Chongqing Jialijiawai Marriage and Family Service Center, said his team has dispelled 260 mistresses in the last two years.

各公司都表示一般需要三個月才能勸退小三。重慶家裡家外婚姻和家庭服務中心主任餘楓（音）說，他的團隊過去兩年勸退了260個小三。

Recently, however, mistress-dispelling services have faced new challenges.

Since he came to power in late 2012, President Xi Jinping has waged an aggressive campaign against official corruption. More than 280,000 officials were penalized for such abuses in 2015 alone.Austeritymeasures that include bans on extravagant consumption have also made keeping a mistress more hazardous to officials’ careers.

然而最近，小三勸退服務面臨新挑戰。自從2012年以來，習主席嚴懲官員腐敗，僅2015年，超過28萬官員受到懲罰，包括禁止奢侈消費在內的整風措施使得養小三對官員的仕途而言更為危險。

A study in 2013 by Renmin University found that 95 percent of corrupt officials kept mistresses. In some cases, officials have found their misdeeds reported to investigators by discontented lovers.

中國人民大學2013年的研究發現，95%的腐敗官員包養小三，有很多案件中，官員不端行為是不滿的情人向調查者舉報的。

“Since the campaign started, many officials have avoided taking on a mistress or have tried to get rid of them themselves,” said Li Qingyu, a counselor at the Baihe Emotion Clinic in Beijing, which provides matchmaking and marriage counseling as well as mistress dispelling.

北京百合情感診所諮詢師李清宇（音）說：“反腐開始以來，許多官員都不養小三了，或者自己了斷了。”這家公司既提供相親和婚姻諮詢服務，也提供小三勸退服務。

Mistress dispellers are also viewed unfavorably by many traditional marriage counselors.

許多傳統的婚姻諮詢師都不看好小三勸退師。

“This kind of service won’t really bring a family back together,” said Liu Weimin, director of the Guangdong Province Marriage and Family Counselors Association, a professional organization based in Shenzhen. “These problems need to be solved between the husband and wife.”

位於深圳的廣東省婚姻和家庭諮詢師協會主任劉為民（音）說：“這種服務不能挽救家庭，這些問題需要丈夫和妻子來解決。”

Still, the companies say they are growing.

可這類公司說他們業務仍在增長。

Last year, Weiqing said it had 10,000 clients, up from 8,000 the year before, while Mr. Kang, of the Reunion Company, said he received about 175 inquiries a day, up from 96 a day in 2015. These numbers could not be independently confirmed.

去年，維情表示公司有10000名客戶，前一年的數據是8000名；重圓公司的康納說一天接到175次諮詢，2015年一天只有95個。這些數字難以得到確證。

Some mistress dispellers have begun to expand their operations overseas, mainly serving ethnic Chinese women living abroad. But Mr. Kang said he was preparing to start English-language services for non-Chinese clients in Europe and North America by opening a call center based in the Philippines or Malaysia.

有些小三勸退師開始在海外拓展業務，主要面向旅居海外的中國婦女。但康納說他們準備在歐洲和北美為非華裔客戶開展英語服務，在菲律賓或馬來西亞建一個客服中心。

“We began by servicing Chinese,’’ Mr. Kang said. “But we’ve discovered in the course of our work that it’s not just our own people who have these problems. Everyone does.”

康說：“我們從服務中國人開始，但工作的過程中，我們發現不僅是我們的人民有這樣的問題，所有人民都有。”

一起來學學詞彙

Cheating

not faithful to a spouse or lover 對於伴侶不忠

例句：While Hillary Clinton's alleged attempts to discredit the women with whom her husband cheated may not be considered a good form of sisterhood, it could be a reasonable act of motherhood.

據稱希拉里試圖敗壞那些和丈夫搞婚外情的女人，這不顧姐妹之情，可這可能是為人母的一種理性行為。

distraught

deeply agitated especially from emotion 特別惱火

例句：Tearful images of distraught Bernie supporters flooded television screens as he delivered a forceful call for his faithful to back his former rival.

伯尼-桑德斯的支持者很惱火，他們滿眼含淚的照片充斥了電視節目，大聲疾呼對這為前競爭對手的忠誠。

austerity

the trait of great self-denial (especially refraining from worldly pleasures) 苦行，引申為財政緊縮。

例句：Allotments have long been a part of the urban landscape, from wartime "dig for victory" campaigns to post-war austerity and rationing.

分配一直是城市的某種景觀，從戰時的“為勝利掘地三尺”到戰後的緊縮和定量配給。

《塔木德》（Talmud）是猶太智慧“聖經”，匯聚5000年文明智慧的基因寶庫。塔木德富豪會（）分享全球智慧，傳播積極情懷！與塔木德為伍，您將在生活、生意、生命方面“三生有幸”，幸會，幸運，幸福！

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